Thomas blogs too.

Brevity does not exist here. Prepare yourself.

The other week the Director of Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan came to our site to check up on us. They call these "site visits." The site visit wasn't just to Rach and myself but, I assume, will eventually be done to all volunteers, oblast by oblast. The scene goes as follows, our modest four person table is decorated with the finest fares that our humble host family have for just such an occasion: several kinds of jams, honey, sugar cubes, the nice tea pot and special tea cups, bread, candies and other sweet pastries of all kinds. With my host mom serving tea and the director's assistant idlely chatting to keep her company, the director asks questions concerning everything that is our entire existence at this moment. I don't mean to make it seem like a therapy session, because it certainly is not. But even the simplest question like, "How are things going?" or "How is work?" or "How are you adjusting?" have the potential to fully pierce any hardy exterior and get to the root of all that plagues our 24 hour job of being a volunteer. That is of course if we choose to answer truthfully, or as we humans are, truthfully know the answer within us.

Sitting maybe a meter from my host mom, who stays to serve tea, we have the absolute freedom to say anything we want, maybe against her, the village, the country, the culture, whatever. Because all questions of impropriety are lost in this situation.

She doesn't understand a word we say.

And what an ample metaphor, but you won't understand that just yet.

The Director suggests I read a blog from another volunteer that is currently experiencing similar problems. (She knows about the contents of blogs because, as it might surprise all but the most cynical readers, our blogs are monitored for appropriateness. Hi Claudia.) I took her advice, spent a few minutes searching for it next time I was on the internet and read it. It was brilliant actually. Her struggles were actually relatively similar to some of mine. And although I can't say I am happy that another volunteer is having a difficult time, like any human being, it is good to know I am not alone in my struggles. And it occurs to me, that while people constantly ask about what is going on "over here," it might actually be that some of them have the capacity to understand some of all this. So here I am, vaulting myself into yet another endeavor that is based on some naive idea of humanity.

I arrived in mid-June to my site. I am a health promotion volunteer assigned to an Orphanage for "Specialty Children" which basically means children with mental development issues. Funny thing about my orphanage is that during the summer, the school closes and the kids go home. So I was told there was no work. My director was an older woman who had worked at the orphanage for over twenty years. She knew the last volunteer that worked there and worked very closely with him on some of his projects. She spoke brilliant English and seemed nice enough. She told me to spend the summer studying my language skills and getting to know my new home. Work would come in September.

So I enjoyed my summer. I relaxed. A lot. I read. I played some computer games. I studied my language and got to know my community. I was even able to visit some other portions of the country and help with some summer camps.

My summer morning: #1. Sleep in. #2. Eat breakfast with coffee. #3. Get water. This entails me putting a giant old milk canister (maybe 50 liters, maybe more) on a hand cart and hauling it down our road and to an old pump, filling it up, then hauling it back. This is our water for the day. I was in the middle of step 3 of my day when my phone rings. "Guljan Eje." Probably just checking up on me, I suspect. It is around 9:30. After the usual hi's, how are you's, she says, "Thomas, I need you to come to the internat (orphanage) today. I need you to meet the calibrators. I need you here at 11." That was only an hour and a half away and, surprisingly, on this day I had actually made plans in Talas City. "Calibrators? What calibrators? What are they calibrating?" "No. [pause] Collaborators. I need you to meet the other collaborators. You must come today." This was not the way I wanted to begin our professional career together but I figured I would explain proper scheduling to her later. I mean, we spent 11 weeks in Training talking about this kind of stuff. It was half expected.

So I went. But collaborators wasn't the right word. I think... new staff would have been better. Replacement director would have worked also. The government put a new director at the school. And he had no idea who I was. Or what Peace Corps was. The first words he said after meeting me were, "We can't pay him. We don't have the budget for him." I knew this was going to be rough.

To give him and Peace Corps (PC) credit, he was quickly brought up to speed. He was educated and quickly came to understand what my "role" was. But here is where it starts to get muddy.

What is my role there? If you ask PC, my director, and me, you will probably get all different answers. No matter where you go in this country, health equates physical fitness. September came and so did the children. It was here that I quickly learned that the next two years of my life had been mapped out as giving PE classes to 1st-4th graders and/or English lessons.

As they say here, bolboeet (Not going to happen, or literally, it will not be).

I feel like we need a recap before we move on. Act 1: Removal from large airborne metal canister to foreign soil. Act 2: Two and a half months of training. Act 3: Summer, AKA, Intermission. Act 4: Conflict! English language removed. Next two years realized.

And what are those two years?

I had visions about what this would be. I think everyone did. And still does. I mean, I still have these amazing dreams about doing amazing things to help lots and lots of people. But truthfully, my blissful naivety has seen better days. I mean, I will always fight the losing battle. I won't give up. But sometimes, I used to think there was a chance of not losing.

Anyways... those two years. What do I do? The orphanage won't do. I am no PE teacher. I mean, for goodness sake, with every new person I meet, I inevitably will get the question about why I am so skinny. Apparently, it’s because I don't eat enough and do enough manual labor, I am told. What makes it more, I just don't like small children. Teenagers and adults are great. But not small kids. Is this truly what development work is boiled down to? PE classes to children?

So I have to build my own job. The next two years will be completely contingent on me finding someone to work with. Only problem is, I can't say that last sentence in Kyrgyz. And I can't say lots of other things in Kyrgyz. My director tells me almost everyday I talk with him that I have bad Kyrgyz. (My apa, mom, emphatically tells me the things I can tell him in return. It is actually quite cute.) I have to weigh every opportunity against my language ability. Every possibility for work comes with a catch; "He speaks very poor Kyrgyz so you have to baby step with him." And what is more, everyday, my life is in contrast to the work done by others with English-speaking counterparts.

"I don't know" and "I don't understand" have both become staple pieces of conversation in this country. And being laughed at, a new pause in conversation.

I know this might sound terribly depressing. So let me be clear. It is. It truly is that depressing sometimes. It is cold too. And when I am sad, there is no, let’s go to a bar with some friends and drink and go see a movie and get a slice and then wake up tomorrow feeling better. Everyday is a battle with the sun to make it go faster so that your lack of work seems less heavy. Everyday involves a conversation with hard-working Kyrgyz people about what I am doing that day where I am embarrassed to admit, "Nothing". Everyday involves a conversation with myself where I question the necessity and virtue of being here.

And I guess maybe this is the bright spot. Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither can my language be. And neither can my work. Everything has a process. And process is important. Process gives the end meaning. So I climb my Everest. I participate in culture exchanges. I help my family with the potato harvest. I go to wedding feasts and give bad toasts that people cheer for nonetheless. I teach three students in an English club and talk to them about culture. I study my Kyrgyz and try my elementary school level sentences on for a try. I help build a bigger sheep pen out back and I herd the calf, cows and sheep when need arises. I learn what it means to live in these inhospitable lands with these very hospitable people.

And that also means I sit a meter from people and let them talk about me, my culture, my thinness, my bad Kyrgyz, or whatever they want, without the necessity of knowing everything they say. But I stay because maybe in a bit, work may open up. You know, they may drink all the tea in their cup and need a refill.

What if I can't do it?

Had a few frustrating days this week! Team teaching is proving to be difficult as my co-teacher is proving a bit unreliable. Grrr.... I do not understand her.

Anyways, on a good note... my sister turned 14 last Thursday. We had a great time. We made pizza and a cake and invited her friends over for dinner. They were so cute. She wanted me to hang out with them but not our host mom.... poor mom was stuck in the kitchen, washing dishes. Tomorrow is a national holiday... the last day of Ramadan. So I am going with my mom and sis guesting. We will got to about 10-15 different houses and be expected to eat full meals at each one! Wahooo!

Thomas and I got an amazing package from his old coworkers at TMH... enough coffee to last for our entire service, dorrito's, oreos, spices.... omg! I'm so excited for Thomas to get back from his seminar so we can dig in! I promised him I wouldn't open anything until he got back.... it's like he wants to torture me.... 2 days to go!

skipping school

September 8, 2009

So I get to skip school today and hang out in the city with Tsui (another volunteer)! We are waiting for our students to finish the 2nd round of Flex testing. Flex is a scholarhip program that awards 70 scholarhips to Kyrgyz high school students to study for one year at an American high school. There are 3 rounds of testing. Yesterday was the first round. I brought 3 students and one of them passed the first round and is taking the second round as I type. I am so proud of her! It's a really big deal to even get this far. Out of the 100 students that came to the first round only 28 passed.

Even though I come to the city all the time, it's a lot more exciting to come when you are skipping work! LOL!

what happened to the weather?

September 4, 2009

Well the first week of school is over... I don't really know quite what to say about it. It was difficult. The first week of school most classes don't actually have lessons. The teachers hand out books, explain what supplies the students need and the rules. My counterpart (co-teacher) didn't mention this so we had lessons planned for the entire week. I'm not really sure why she didn't tell me. We tried to have most of the lessons but it was really difficult because class always started late and ended early. Also my counterpart asked during 2 classes if she could be excused to go to the library to help hand out books... so I was left 2 seperate times on the 1st and 2nd day of school in a class having no idea what I was doing. It was really frustrating. It's a difficult working relationship because we don't know each other very well and she doesn't understand English very well. I try to speak to her in Kyrgyz but she doesn't want me to because she wants her English to get better (which I understand). But it's difficult having so many misunderstandings. Right now I just feel a little frustrated. I know (or I hope) things will get better but this week was aggravating. She seems very willing to incorporate my ideas into the lessons but she just refuses to give up the vocabulary lessons in this really old soviet book from 1986. It just makes no sense to me why anyone would ever need to know the words hydraulic irrigation or backwardness or nomadic cattle breeding...... especially students who can barely introduce themselves in English. The thing that is the most frustrating is that the book doesn't even contain the national curriculim... which I thought every teacher had to use. The national curriculum actually makes sense. The topics are things like family, friends, shopping, holidays, etc. Not "education in the USSR."

I had a fun day with my siblings today. They accidentally learned some bad words from me. Ooops! It really was an accident. They were playing around and speaking in a Kyrgyz pig latin language and one of the words that came out was "eng jamon" (really bad....the worst). So I started laughing and of course I had to tell them what I was laughing about. And then it became a joke after that where they kept saying it over and over again. When Thomas got home, he got an earful from both of them. I laughed so hard I almost puked. (We had just stuffed ourselves with burritos... a now weekly tradition in my family).

It's starting to get colder here. I have worn a hoodie and pants everyday this week. At night it is really cold. I can't believe it's this cold in September! Now I'm really scared of the winter! AHH!!! I'm gonna freeze to death!

The first day of school which is apparantly a holiday

I have survived my first day of classes! Yesterday was technically the first day of school but no classes were actually given. It was just a big celebration of the new first grade students and the eleventh grade students (there is no 12th grade). Everyone came to the school for a big ceremony... lots of people gave speaches, the first graders sang songs and there was a white aisle covered in rose petals for everyone to walk down. Then all of the school staff went to a first graders house and had a huge feast. This is the tradition for the first day of school and it happens all over Kyrgyzstan. We ate until we could not eat even another bite. Then we gave our wishes to the first graders mother, we sang songs and most everyone (not me) drank vodka. I sang Abba.... it was awesome!

Today classes started. I teach 7th-11th grade. It is a pretty light schedule. Only 14hours of actual classes a week so I will have plenty of time for clubs and secondary projects. I start teaching at 8am and am home by 12pm. And I am only teach Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays.... Pretty sweet!

I really don't know

Asel, (the peace corps safety and security coordinator) came to visit Talas this week. I freakin love her! She is so sassy! She introduced us to the governor and police force in Talas. I've always been a little wary of the police here but our meeting went great. The entire Talas City police force was there. It was a bit intimidating at first. We all had to stand up and introduce ourselves and tell where we lived and what we did. After each volunteer introduced themselves the entire police force clapped... everytime. Then at the end we took questions and they asked a city volunteer if he would have an English club for the police. It was great!

We found out this week that we helped out family stay in their home and helped our brother get to go to university. Basically, before we came our brother talked about going to University and his Uncle told him he could not go because if he moved out my sister and mother would live alone. And he said it is dangerous for them to live alone. So if my brother decided to go to university then my mother and sister would have to move in with other family members.... but then we came and everything worked out.

We also talked to them about how we wanted to live with them for our entire service and they were thrilled. They said they already thought of us as family and that we helped them to not be lonely. It was very sweet. Now if they will just let Sadie in the house everything would be perfect!

School starts Tuesday. I found out yesterday that the first day of school isnt even spent at the school. It's spent guesting at the first grade students houses. I love guesting... sitting around with a bunch of people, chatting about nothing, everyone staring at me b/c I look different. The only thing I don't like about it is how much food I have to eat! I have to eat and eat and eat some more so I don't offend anyone. Speaking of food....

We made taco's for our family yesterday and they loved them! I mean LOVED!!!! My brother told me I could make taco's everyday and he would eat them. Thomas taught him the phrase "oh buddy" on accident when they were playing a chess game. So as he was eating he just kept saying "oh buddy......ohhhh buddy!" It was so funny!

Today my sister comes back from Bishkek!! Wahoo!!! I miss her. She has been gone for a month! I can't even remember what she looks like anymore...lol! Oh and a k-16 volunteer from Talas just got engaged to a kyrgyz girl. She is really awesome. Beautiful and speaks fantastic English.

All for now! More once school starts!

and then there was fried chicken...

August 18, 2009

I had lunch with Diego today. We went to this resturaunt that Kristen told us about. It was delicious! Fried chicken and french fries. Total comfort food... I couldn't believe it existed here! I think I talk about food too much in my blogs. I guess it's obvious what I miss most about America... lol!

Diego and I talked about our future plans and all the things we wanted to do after Peace Corps. He is the one person Thomas and I have really connected with here. We share very similar ideas and goals. Not that I can only be friends with people like me but it helps to have common interests and ideas to form a strong friendship. He is one of the few people I have met who isn't using Peace Corps as a means to an end. He is here because he believes that he can actually do something good. I feel the same way. We had a good talk.

I am excited for school to start. Although I have enjoyed the restfulness of the summer. It has been nice to be away from the constant busyness I felt in America. Always having to be doing something, working, cleaning, working, busy, busy, busy. I have had one of the most relaxing summers. It has had its stressors.... being in a different country and speaking a different language. But I love the slower pace of Kyrgyzstan. The way people don't really rush to be anywhere and don't rush to do things. It's like they have all the time in the world to finish what they started. I like that. Although I know it will probably be aggravating when people don't show up for school things on time. We'll see.

I'm so proud of the girls in my English club. They have really worked hard this summer. We went through an entire chapter in the grammar book I have. We covered a lot of material and they really retained it well. They're not conversational yet but if they keep working as hard as they are, they will be very soon.

Tomorrow I am getting together with some other volunteers for a movie night and some mexican food. Wahoo!!! I am going to share the movies and TV shows that I got from Burns. They are all gonna flip a lid! It's kind of a big deal to get new material!

I am going to put up some new pics on Facebook soon so be on the lookout!