Taxi Cab Knee Wrestling

I have lived in small towns my whole life. The largest city I have lived in was only a few hundred thousand people large, which seems huge to me and huge to people in Kyrgyzstan but small by American standards. This means several things. It means that I have never had to experience cramped public transportation like subway systems or cramped city buses. Even on very busy days, the buses always seemed to have room enough to maintain our cultural idea of personal space. So, perhaps this part of my experience here has more to do with my small town history than my perception of a ingrained masculinity competition. With that said, here is, what I like to call, Taxi Cab Knee Wrestling.

I was once called the epitome of masculinity. Ok. That is a lie. I like to call myself rustic but people usually laugh when I say this. Truth is, I find myself much more at home in a library or a coffee shop where the scariest encounter one will have is with the napkin dispenser than a gym or recreation park or lumber mill. Over the course of many years, the middle school taunts of “Stick to your books, Thomas!!” from George, my nemesis, have eased me into a very comfortable place of acceptance. I am not macho. I am more likely to be asked to recall some archaic fact or define a word than pick up a large bag of bricks or push a log off the road. And I am ok with this.

So it strikes me odd that it took so long for me to recognize what was happening in these taxis.

I remember the moment I realized that this egghead was being dragged into a street fight. It was nearing the end of summer. The bean harvest was near and school was soon to start. I found a taxi returning to my village so I went and sat down waiting for the forth person to arrive. (*Unlike cabs in the U.S., we wait for the entire cab to fill up. No one buys out an entire cab here, including the American without a salary.) In the front seat was a young man eating ice cream. In the back with me was his friend also eating ice cream. It was a hot day so he had taken his shirt off. I immediately was put off thinking, “We are about to cram up in this car together and he thinks I or anyone else wants to squish up next to his sweaty dirty body?” But I off course didn't say anything and hoped for an older woman to come and tell him to put his shirt on. Unfortunately, within the next few moments, our fourth passenger would present himself and the subconscious battles would begin.

All these boys were, at most, 19 years old but more likely 15-16. In this culture, that puts me in an advantageous position being 5-10 years their elder. But when those little doors noisily closed and we began our bumpy ten minute journey home, all that could represent Kyrgyzstani culture becomes second hat to this battle.

The driver makes a joke, and turns up the music. The boys idly stare out the window and occasionally make small talk with one another over the music. But as I was sitting holding my backpack in my lap, I realized my right leg was getting tired. Shifting my backpack, I realized my mistake only after it was too late. Lifting the bag just enough to allow the space it was occupying between my two knees to vacate, my right knee was immediately pushed into my left knee. Looking over at the other two boys thinking this was certainly going to be a mean joke they were playing on the “tourist” they didn't know spoke Kyrgyz, I was stunned to find that neither of them were paying any attention to me and had no idea what they had done. Sitting in the most natural way possible, both were seated with their legs spread as wide as possible. My leg had been getting tired not because my backpack was sitting on it, but because since the moment I had sat down, I had been engaged in a battle for testicle room with this other boy's knee!

Now I can assure you, there was more than enough room in this taxi for us all to have a reasonable amount of room to spread out and be comfortable. But instead, the two boys were sitting completely open legged and I was sitting with knees together with my bag on my lap like some woman concerned with propriety while sitting in Sunday School in the 1950's.

I rode the entire way home like this without anyone making any notice. I exited the taxi and walked down the road to my house. Now maybe there is some evolutionary reason concerning males and claiming territory or pronouncing their genital dominance while in the presence of other competing men. Whatever. It matters nothing to me the reasons why it occurs, but from that moment on, I have come to realize that every time I sit down in a taxi cab and sit beside a man, my unsuspecting knee is propelled into a battle of strength and fortitude. The force of the push is not enough to be overtly noticeable. It is just enough that if an adequate amount of resistance is not applied, every ounce of masculinity that once made you a member of the male gender will be usurped and you will be looking for the nearest opportunity for the car to stop and regain your dignity as you stand, stretch, and remind yourself, “I am a man.”

nothing new

So nothing new or exciting has happenened recently. I am talking to Mary An on Facebook chat right now. That is pretty darn exciting for me! Thomas and I are about to go on a lunch date to our favorite cafe for fried chicken and french fries! I was talking to Mary An about our favorite mexican places in tally! And now all I want more than anything is a plate of empanadas and a big margarita!

My mom has 3 packages in the mail and on their way to me!! Woohoo! I am excited about getting some warm sweaters and some christmas presents for my host family... even though they are Muslim and don't celebrate Christmas, I think everyone likes getting presents. New Years is a big holiday in Kyrgyzstan (maybe in every country). My sister said there will be tons of food and fireworks. Oh and Santa Clause comes on new years! I was thinking about going to Osh for Christmas, once school is out. But I think I really want to spend New Years with my host family. I know they will be sad if we aren't here.

Let's see... what else? My puppy is about 8 months old now and HUGE!!! I will have to post new pics soon! She is looking more and more wolfish everyday which is pretty cool! She is obsessed with this one rope toy I got her and will bring it to me over and over again for hours to play tug of war and fetch. I wish she was allowed inside! She is so cuddly!

My sister has decided she is going to get serious about learning English. I think a lot of her relatives and people in our village have been giving her crap for not learning it faster. She has picked up a lot since we have been here and they have no idea how difficult of a language English really is. But anyways she has decided she wants me to tutor her every night this week and then next week, she will try only speaking English to Thomas and I. I think if she works really hard this year, maybe she could pass the flex next year and study for a year in America. I really want her to be able to do what she wants to do with her life. She is so smart and motivated. I get so worried about her because so many of the girls here don't get to decide their own futures. Which is why I'm really hoping to start a girls empowerment club next semester.

Well it's lunch date time! Get skype and call me for super cheap!

no school!

My school has been quarrantined! It is closed until December 7th because sooo many teachers and students have the flu! Thanks to medical, I have my handy, dandy flu shot. So hopefully that will keep me safe. I also started taking vitamins and buying oranges (which are FREAKING expensive). Now I need to come up with ways to occupy my time for the next ten days. I am thinking that since I am fresh from IST that I will start creating materials for my future lessons. Like maybe go through all of the resources I got at IST and start making some of the games and activities. That way, I will save time in the future, just being able to grab the pre-made activity, rather than having to sit down and create it. I also want to start writing a calendar plan for next quarter. The one my counterpart wrote for this quarter just isn't working. There is way too much reading and translating texts. Not enough grammar and speaking.

Tomorrow is ait. A muslim holiday. I will go around from neighboor to neighboor with my host mother eating food and fruit and candy and bread until I absolutely, positively cannot eat anymore (actually takes longer than you think!). Having lost 15 pounds since being here, I think I can afford it!

Thanks to all the fantastic friends and family who have send us packages recently! We have enjoyed lots of tasty American food! And we have gotten really good at making things last. It took us 2 weeks to eat a package of Oreos. Actually it really isn't me at all. If I had my way I would have eaten them in two days. It is religiously sensible Thomas who helps me have oreos for an entire 2 weeks!!!

I am thinking about starting a girls club at my school. Just an all encompassing information club where girls can get together in a safe environment and chat and ask questions. It's really hard for them to get information, especially about female health or reproduction. The tricky part is I need to find a local woman, who speaks English, who would be interested in helping me. The language barrier is really difficult. I could understand and answer questions in Kyrgyz but I don't think I could expand on any scientific or medical reasons. Also it might be a little risky for me to lead the club alone. Especially if the girls want to talk about sex or any other "taboo" topic.

I want to do so much and be so proactive... but it's so slow going. There's so much involved in cross cultural exchange, gaining trust, language aquisition, etc. This is when I feel like my social work education comes in so handy. A lot of volunteers can't see that all of that stuff goes hand in hand with sustainable development work so they rush gung-ho into a project and when it doesn't work they get frustrated and bitter and they blame everything on the local people. It's actually a big problem in PC. So many volunteers leave bitter and hating their time here. I DO NOT want to be that person. Just spending time with those kinds of volunteers is draining and frustrating.... and unfortunately there are a lot of them!

It started snowing here. Just a little, but it is beautiful! I am a tiny bit excited for winter... and a lot a bit scared!!!

If you are interested in sending a Christmas package, I could really use some sweaters, a cute skirt or 2 (atleast knee length), and brown or black tights. Thanks!

If i had a million dollars....

So for everyone concerned, I am over the cake incident! It was just a clash of individualism versus collectivism. Things are patched up with my family... they felt so bad, they bought us a replacement cake... not nearly as tasty but a very sweet gesture.

Thomas and I just got back from an 11 day trip to the capital. The first 6 days were spent in training sessions with all of the other volunteers from our k-17 group. The sessions were fantastic! It was a really good time to get together and discuss our frustrations and sucesses. We also had a few language sessions and a chance to take the Kyrgyz fluency test again. Thomas and I are both now officially fluent in Kyrgyz. I think that's a pretty big accomplishment for only living here and studying Kyrgyz for 8 months. We also had a chance to meet the 2 new PC staff members, Greg and Seth. They seem pretty down to earth!

On Saturday, our sessions were over and PC wasn't putting us in our hotel until Sunday night, so we stayed with Kathleen. She is a K-13 who lives in the capital and has the nicest, most cozy apartment EVER! Fritz was stayed there too.... I had never met him before but we hit it off great! It was nice to hang out with older (not old, just older) volunteers! On sunday we checked into our hotel and found that a lot of other volunteers were staying there as well... so we had plently of company. It was like a mini-vacation. I did have to go to the dentist though. But it was quite possibly the best dentist visit I have ever had. I had a cavity filled and it was completely painless. I didn't even feel the novacaine needle. For those of you who know how terrified of the dentist I am, you know this was a big deal!!! It was a great week! Now I am back at my site and pumped to get back to teaching and really try to implement some of the new strategies and lesson plans we learned. We'll see if my counterpart is as pumped as I am!


I miss you all!!! Call or email when you have time! It really means a lot to us!

two in a row?

Who would have known that I would need to rant twice in a row. But today just started out as one of those days where I want to give up. Sometimes I amazed at the rudeness of people. So here is what set me off....

I recently got a package from my bestest friend TT which included a wonderful Duncan Hines cake and chocolate frosting. I was super exicted about it beacuse the cakes here just aren't good. And it's a huge treat to get something like that from America. So last night I decided to make this amazing cake... which doesn't take a lot of ingredients but does take a lot of upper arm strength since it required a blender (which we don't have). After spending 40 minutes beating out all the lumps and getting it into the oven, it was finally finished. After dinner me, Thomas and my host all ate a small piece, leaving 3/4 of it for the next day to share with my sister when she came home. So I set the cake on a seperate table and continued about my night. Later in the evening two high school age boys came over to spend the night so that the next morning they could help my host mother sort beans. The next morning I got up and went into the dining room to find that the 2 boys had eaten the entire rest of the cake. Without asking ANYONE! They didn't just eat a piece they ate ALL of it. I was so pissed. I could tell my host mom didnt understand why I was so angry. After all it was just a cake right? It really wasn't the cake that was a big deal.... it was the fact that 2 random boys came to MY house and proceeded to eat everything insight without any regard for whose it might be.... and they ate the ENTIRE cake. What is wrong with people? They never apologized or anything, they just said they didn't know it was mine. Even if it was my host mom's, what right do they have to come into our house and eat an entire cake without asking? AHHHH!! I was so angry I had to get out of my house and come to the city where I now am typing this ridiculous rant.....

My students love Halloween!

Yesterday was Halloween! I took 11 of my English club students to a Halloween party put on by some of the volunteers. There was a small haunted house, which scared the crap out of some kids. Then there were games like bobbing for apples, pumpkin carving, guess the mystery item and ski ball (or skeet ball if you're Corey James.) My students absolutely loved it. After the games we all ate lunch and then each group performed a skit about Halloween (which is not really only an American holiday, my students didn't know much about it). My students did a skit about a witch stealing candy from 2 little kids. And then an angel appeared and said "abra kadabra", making the witch die and candy appear for the children. It was so funny. Then they danced to "Thriller" by Michael Jackson. I showed them the video before hand so they even included some "zombie" moves. It was amazing! We all dressed up as zombies for the dance! When we finally got home later that day, I asked my sister if she liked it and she said "I'll never forget it!" It made me realize what a special day it really was for my students. They don't get many days where they can get away and just play like kids. They are always busy, always working. It's just the nature of life in Kyrgyzstan.

After getting my students home safely, I went back into the city to Kristen's house. Patrick made us all stir fry and something with eggplant in it. It was a fun night. The guys decided since it was Halloween they needed to put their clothes on inside out (yea I'm not sure what that has to do with Halloween either). They attempted to intitiate a dance off against us girls. But the other girls wouldn't reply to their challenge. So I reluctantly joined the boys side and led an offensive against them. They gave me no choice.

This Halloween made me remember last Halloween when I hung out at Justin and Angie's house. We just sat around with our beers and our food on the balcony and pulled a string to our "ghost" rocking chair to scare kids. It was so simple but so perfect. I miss feeling so confortable with people and just in my own element.

This week is a school holiday so I don't have classes. But I am going to go in to plan with my co-teacher and also have English clubs. Hopefully I can convince my co-teacher to change the calendar plan for some of the grades. The content she has planned is just way to hard for them. We could probably take the calender plan for 7th grade and apply it to 8th- 11th grade and it would still be difficult for most of the students. And why my 9th grade students need to read about the Great October Socialist Revolution, I will never know. I am happy for a light week of work and ready for a little rest. I feel like I have been very busy lately with little time for my co-teacher and I to get on the same page. Sometimes we can spend an entire day at school together and never have time to discuss our classes. Next week is our IST in Bishkek. IST stands for something I cannot remember. But basically it a week of technical and language training. We spend the first 2 days in training sessions with our counterpart and then the last 4 with just volunteers. It will be nice break from teaching, the village and our family.

wtf?

And I had a need to rant.....


If one more person insinuates that me being married makes my opinions and experiences null and void, I might have to throw something. It's like I joined Peace Corps, stepped into this culture of single people and all of a sudden I came into this world married with no prior history or experiences. If one more person says "Oh well you're married so..." So what? I can't possibly understand the plight of a single person? I can't state an opinion about a relationship issue? I mean obviously I was born this way and never had any experience being single. What the heck people? I can let it go a few times, but it has become a staple part of the defense in any conversation I am a part of. I found out recently that when we first came to country, some of the girls didn't consider me part of the "girl" group because I was married. Sometimes I feel so isolated here. I went from having a core group of friends who were all married, to having no married friends. I don't even nescessarily need married friends.... just friends who don't make idiotic statements about the value of my opinions because of my marital status. Atleast people who can uderstand that being married is not my entire identity and doesn't define me as a human being. This blog was brought on by a comment that was made last night and I am still fuming over it. I refuse to look over it anymore. It's unfair and isolating.